Why Not?

I was a pretty naughty child growing up; think tantrums, playing truant and generally being a complete shit. I was selfishly living in a bubble of always wanting to have what I couldn’t have and yearning to be where I shouldn’t be so when my estranged parent/sperm donor  Jacob used to tell me no, I’d whine ‘WHYYYY NOTTTT.’ That phrase always had a negative connotation in my younger years. Little did ten year old Freja know – this double-entendre was going to end up forming the very foundations of her young adult life..

The teenage years came along, and I’d like to say I shed my cocoon of being a troublesome tyrant, but if we’re buttering bread here –  I was still the same. However, the phrase ‘why not’ had started to evolve. Instead of it holding me back, it was pushing me forward. I started saying yes to things that took me out of my comfort zone, that challenged me and it felt fucking great! ‘Why not’ gave me a kind of fire in my belly, and a freedom within reaching distance. It broke down barriers and limits became non-existent. I felt like I was living.

Let us fast forward to the present. What does ‘why not’ mean to me now? I feel like I’ve gone through the motions of heartbreak to evolution. I’ve metaphorically gone from crying on the bathroom floor listening to Bon Iver to contently smiling to Rusted Root. I’ve found a mutual understanding with ‘why not’ – we get each other, we’re like homies. Those two words have taught me I can do all of the things I’ve wanted to do, to see the world, to develop relationships and to kick the social boundaries that were chaining me to monotony.  I am no longer self-doubting, mentally anchoring myself to ‘I can’t,’ because I know I can. In the least egotistical way, if I can inspire anyone to do anything, it would be to say ‘why not’, because, why wouldn’t you? Now go on, go kick some ass you wonderful humans.

Oh and – 70. Add to tattoo collection

Why Not